If you put a naked newborn baby on their mother's bare belly, they will eventually wiggle and crawl their way to the breast and latch on.

When I first heard that, it was presented as sort of a party trick--here's a wild thing that can happen to entertain you! I thought it sounded cruel, making a baby perform right after being born.

I was, of course, wrong. And the cruel thing is not to allow this miracle of birth to occur whenever possible.

In the birth community, from OBs in surgical suites to lay midwives in someone's home, everyone is now aware of the Golden Hour, that first hour after baby arrives when mother and baby should be left in peace and quiet and baby allowed to latch on their own time. Ideally, cord cutting is delayed until the cord turns white, any procedures on baby happen while in Mom's arms. The room is kept quiet and calm, baby is kept warm with a warmed blanket over Mom, and the first bonding happens in this peace.

It is a wonder to witness, and not a place for impatience. Some babies are quiet and alert, some start very upset with being evicted and take a while to settle, and some are sleepy and exhausted and start life with a nap. None of these reactions is unusual--the wide awake baby may get halfway to the breast and then need that nap, the upset baby may settle and make a beeline for the nipple. What they all have in common, though, is the need for patience and calm. This time is called the Golden Hour, but nature doesn't have a watch. It might be the Golden Ninety Minutes. Even a Golden Two Hours.

So, what does this Golden Hour accomplish? Studies have found that it increases baby's ability to thermoregulate--that is, control their body temperature. It reduces the chances of low blood sugar. It helps baby regulate breathing and other body functions. For Mom, it reduces the chances of hemorrhage, makes breastfeeding easier, and reduces incidents of postpartum depression. There are so many positives to respecting the Golden Hour that the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology advocate respecting it.

Just because it's recommended, however, doesn't mean it's always followed. After the birth, the hospital staff might be impatient to get on with things. This is a place for partners and doulas to protect the initial bond. Usually it only takes a reminder. They know the stats, they just have jobs to do. Resist the "just for a minute" suggestion of interrupting this time. The initial wipe down, the vitamin K shot, the heel prick, they can all happen while baby is skin-to-skin on Mom's belly. Really, weighing and measuring are the only thing that requires removal. But baby isn't going to lose much weight or get any longer in that first hour, so, "We're going to wait" is a perfectly acceptable response.

All of this presupposes a normal, vaginal delivery of a pink baby with a good APGAR score. That isn't always the case, though. So, what do we do in other situations?

With a cesarean, the protocol has been to get baby out, suction baby and establish good breath sounds (their lungs don't get squeezed on the way out, so they tend to have more fluid to expel), then wrap baby up, take baby up to Mom's face--frequently upside down to Mom's view--ask for a kiss, and whisk baby away.

It doesn't have to be like that. And it is changing in some places. Babies are being evaluated and suctioned while lying on Mom's stomach, above the surgical area but still on the sterile side of the drape. This lets the cord remain attached until the placenta is delivered, then once the cord is clamped and cut, baby is shifted to Mom's chest. And someone has invented an ingenious drape with a little . . . okay, it looks like a doggie door. But it can be opened to hand baby up to Mom while the cord is still attached. So, for c-sections that don't involve serious infant distress, this is a great way to start the Golden Hour even before Mom is stitched back up. Keeping that atmosphere calm and joyful is a great job for a doula, who can remind everyone of Golden Hour protocols while the partner or support person helps Mom with holding baby while the surgery completes.

Not every birth can keep the Golden Hour protected, however. Some babies need to make a trip to the NICU as soon as they are born. Do not despair; all is not lost. Baby's "breast crawl" instincts last for a while, so when baby is brought back, start skin-to-skin contact is a dim and peaceful environment. Even if baby needs help latching, the skin-to-skin time will give all those other benefits.

And if baby's stay in the NICU is going to be longer than a few hours, there is nothing better for baby than kangaroo care--skin-to-skin holding by either parent. Babies who are held skin-to-skin hear your heartbeat, your voice, learn your scent, and bond. So none of this is wasted time.

As in all things birth-related, we need to be flexible. But remember that a speed bump is not a car crash. If you can't get your ideal Golden Hour experience, look to the next version until you find the one that you can achieve, and then let go of the vision and make your own joy.